Rauðúlfr Trollskogen (bridge_troll) wrote,
Rauðúlfr Trollskogen
bridge_troll

There's clearly something about the month of March which is suggestive of new beginnings. Sap rising, the little creatures of the field re-emerging. We did it - we drove back the night one more time.

The older you get, the closer together the new beginnings. No-one at 14 years of age gets up one day and declares "Today is the first day of the rest of my life", because in the world of 14 the summers are still endless and every week you can encounter the fresh and the new. New beginnings are more like new seasons: childhood, adolescence, adulthood.

My new beginnings now arrive at six-week intervals. "I am a new man!" I declare in January, "Free from ego and attachment, with dauntless courage and terrible resolve!" and then I go ahead and declare the same thing late in February. They say that the unexamined life is not worth living, as if anything could possibly be gained by examining your life.

Oh, it turns out that I'm a base animal motivated mostly by fear and occasionally by hunger. Oh good, I'm glad that I learned that. Now I've thought it, I'm sure that I can think a way through it. Yes, the very brain that got me into this mess will dig me back out.

I wish that today was my last.
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