Hello Hive Burn-All (Livejournal)!
A ranking system? So my aged journal which I haven't updated in three years is around 240,000th in the grand scheme of things? While that does make me feel incredibly worthless, it also makes we wonder about everyone who ranks lower than that? What are their journals about? The Catholic Church's role in the invention of the Spinning Jenny in East Pontypridd during the great Hamster Riots? I would definitely read that journal.
i also now have a thing called Social Capital? Yes, I know that I'm probably late to the party with all of this, rather like a political commentator suddenly enraged that we're extending the vote to women but please bear with me during this difficult/boring time.
For me this is actually sort of timely as I was watching a TED lecture yesterday (while masturbating furiously) about - among other things - Seduction Capital. You can probably guess what that might be without having to look it up on Wikipedia or consult a Buzzfeed list of the twenty ways in which Kate Middleton is enhancing her Seduction Capital while maintaining rock-hard abs with this one weird old trick.
Seduction Capital is your desirability factor. In ages past that was nothing more than having the right parents and playing your own allotted role in society. Then it was about having the correct haircut and a motorbike and being the actual Fonz. Potsy's Seduction Capital was not very high. These days its about...well I dunno. If I was an expert on that my Seduction Capital would be 10,000 and right now this would be very difficult to type owing to the fact that Kat Dennings would be on my face at all times. ALL TIMES.
Actually this is quite difficult to type anyway as I'm using a touchscreen, which is sort of like trying to eat soup with a laminated photograph of Terence Trent D'Arby and also because I'm using Photon Browser for iOS, despite that I DON'T KNOW WHAT EITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE.
Anyway, my Social Capital is officially 'Less Than Ten'. I suppose that means that in real terms I'm about as employable as the reanimated corpse of Jimmy Saville and precisely as sexually desirable. So it goes.
Now fuck off.